Saturday, February 1, 2020

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               I turn 82 tomorrow and still have more questions than answers. Here are some of them:

               --How did “smart” phones go from being pleasant conveniences to a destructive national addiction?

               --Is it possible to survive a long plane trip without catching a cold, flu or worse? How do pilots and crews stay healthy?

               --When did baseball spring training become a more about ticket-price gouging, scalpers and traffic jams than palm trees, sun-tan lotion and easy good times?

               --Will the drive to conquer the dreaded Peyronie’s Disease hinder the fight against other ailments?

               -- Why do road crews close lanes for blocks to accommodate a few yards of repairs?

               -- Isn’t this the golden age of investigative journalism? Before, reporters spent weeks chasing dead-end leads. With the Trump gang, every lead pans out.

               --Have you noticed that every auto or home insurer gives you favorable initial rates but then jacks you up annually until you’re worse off than before?

               --Can anyone tell me why Major League Baseball teams in northern climes schedule night games in April?

--Remember when you thought “W” was the worst thing that could happen to this country?

               --Does anyone still smoke a pipe?

               --With all the technical smarts out there, wouldn’t you think someone would invent a gadget that blocks unwanted sales calls?

               --Doesn’t the Democrats’ primary free-for-all make you nostalgic for the smoke-filled rooms of yore?

               --When will people realize that most of the casualties of the “War on Drugs” are addicted Americans?

               --Does anyone still know the difference between “celebrity” and “notoriety”? And isn’t “reticent” on its way to replacing “reluctant”?

               --Doesn’t it seem that about half the players in Major League baseball hit 30 or more home runs last season?

               --Will driverless cars go the way of personal airplanes as features of a future that never materializes?

               --Doesn’t every dish containing green peppers or black olives come out tasting like green peppers or black olives?

               --Aren’t you eager to watch any movie or TV show Kevin Bacon is in?

               --Is there a more dispiriting moment in sports than seeing the “inquiry” sign go up after your horse wins a race?

               --Doesn’t it seem that insurance companies are having a contest to see which can run the silliest TV ads?

               --What did people do for entertainment before Netflix?

               --Why isn’t it against the law to put ketchup on hot dogs?

               --Where does my computer cursor go when it gets lost?

               --Doesn’t it seem like some websites kick you off at the slightest missed stroke so they can build their “hits” count?

               --Why aren’t contracts with “automatic renewal” clauses illegal?

               --Don’t you think Republicans would have long since become tired of trying to explain away Trump’s mishugas?

               --How did the people who stole my identity breeze past the credit-score agencies while setting up fake bank accounts and credit cards in my name, while I had to jump through hoops trying to rectify the situation?

               --Is there a goofier voting system than the Iowa-primary caucuses? Why do they play a prominent role in presidential elections?

               --Was anyone surprised to learn that vaping is bad for people?

               Just askin’.

4 comments:

The thoughts of Chairman Mike said...

The answer to all your questions is 3.

Happy birthday, Fred.

Alan L said...

Great thoughts -- as always. Will think of you each time I see the Inquiry sign go on from now on.

BTW, don't retire. Look forward to your thoughts every 1st and 15th. THANKS!!!

djallsup said...

And I have one for you, Fred.

Why do sportswriters feel compelled to dig into politics at every opportunity? (Of course, it's always--always--a dig against our president.) Some of us actually turn to sports to get away from politics. Just as I canceled Sports Illustrated after more than 40 years, I'm now canceling you.

Have a happy birthday.

Unknown said...

Cousin Fred,

I now know what side of my family the genetic distaste for green peepers and black olives comes from! I agree - They contaminate anything they touch.

Happy belated birthday.

Sherri