I turn
82 tomorrow and still have more questions than answers. Here are some of them:
--How
did “smart” phones go from being pleasant conveniences to a destructive
national addiction?
--Is it
possible to survive a long plane trip without catching a cold, flu or worse?
How do pilots and crews stay healthy?
--When
did baseball spring training become a more about ticket-price gouging, scalpers
and traffic jams than palm trees, sun-tan lotion and easy good times?
--Will
the drive to conquer the dreaded Peyronie’s Disease hinder the fight against
other ailments?
-- Why
do road crews close lanes for blocks to accommodate a few yards of repairs?
-- Isn’t
this the golden age of investigative journalism? Before, reporters spent weeks
chasing dead-end leads. With the Trump gang, every lead pans out.
--Have
you noticed that every auto or home insurer gives you favorable initial rates
but then jacks you up annually until you’re worse off than before?
--Can
anyone tell me why Major League Baseball teams in northern climes schedule
night games in April?
--Remember when you thought “W” was
the worst thing that could happen to this country?
--Does
anyone still smoke a pipe?
--With
all the technical smarts out there, wouldn’t you think someone would invent a
gadget that blocks unwanted sales calls?
--Doesn’t
the Democrats’ primary free-for-all make you nostalgic for the smoke-filled
rooms of yore?
--When
will people realize that most of the casualties of the “War on Drugs” are addicted
Americans?
--Does
anyone still know the difference between “celebrity” and “notoriety”? And isn’t
“reticent” on its way to replacing “reluctant”?
--Doesn’t
it seem that about half the players in Major League baseball hit 30 or more home
runs last season?
--Will
driverless cars go the way of personal airplanes as features of a future that
never materializes?
--Doesn’t
every dish containing green peppers or black olives come out tasting like green
peppers or black olives?
--Aren’t
you eager to watch any movie or TV show Kevin Bacon is in?
--Is
there a more dispiriting moment in sports than seeing the “inquiry” sign go up
after your horse wins a race?
--Doesn’t
it seem that insurance companies are having a contest to see which can run the
silliest TV ads?
--What
did people do for entertainment before Netflix?
--Why isn’t it against the law to
put ketchup on hot dogs?
--Where
does my computer cursor go when it gets lost?
--Doesn’t
it seem like some websites kick you off at the slightest missed stroke so they
can build their “hits” count?
--Why
aren’t contracts with “automatic renewal” clauses illegal?
--Don’t
you think Republicans would have long since become tired of trying to explain
away Trump’s mishugas?
--How
did the people who stole my identity breeze past the credit-score agencies
while setting up fake bank accounts and credit cards in my name, while I had to
jump through hoops trying to rectify the situation?
--Is
there a goofier voting system than the Iowa-primary caucuses? Why do they play
a prominent role in presidential elections?
--Was
anyone surprised to learn that vaping is bad for people?
Just
askin’.
4 comments:
The answer to all your questions is 3.
Happy birthday, Fred.
Great thoughts -- as always. Will think of you each time I see the Inquiry sign go on from now on.
BTW, don't retire. Look forward to your thoughts every 1st and 15th. THANKS!!!
And I have one for you, Fred.
Why do sportswriters feel compelled to dig into politics at every opportunity? (Of course, it's always--always--a dig against our president.) Some of us actually turn to sports to get away from politics. Just as I canceled Sports Illustrated after more than 40 years, I'm now canceling you.
Have a happy birthday.
Cousin Fred,
I now know what side of my family the genetic distaste for green peepers and black olives comes from! I agree - They contaminate anything they touch.
Happy belated birthday.
Sherri
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