I turn
83 tomorrow but still have more questions than answers. Here are some of them:
--How did it figure that Cox told
me my bill would go up if I dropped one of my two telephone “land lines”? It was something about “bundling” but I
didn’t stick around for the whole explanation.
--When
the traffic light turns green and the guy in front of you doesn’t move, isn’t
there about a 90% chance he’s texting?
--What’s
the chance there will be a computer snafu when you try to order something
online, and that it won’t be correctable? 20%? 30%? 50%?
--Shouldn’t
the college-basketball cliché “one-and-done” be changed to “none and done”? Most
jocks who use it drop out during second semester and don’t complete a year of
schooling.
--Why
does unplugging and replugging your computer eliminate bugs? Other appliances don’t respond to that.
--Were
“smart phones” designed to make users (some, anyway) feel dumb?
--COVID-19
thought: Parkinson’s Law has it that work expands to fill the time allotted to
it, but doesn’t that also apply to idleness?
-- Why
was it that, for the same home-repair job, we got bids of $8,600, $22,400 and
$27,000?
-- Why
was I not surprised that the same politicians who rolled back anti-pollution
laws were the quickest to advocate reopening businesses in the face of the
virus? Human sacrifice didn’t end with the Aztecs.
--Is
there any modern plague more difficult to shake than identity theft (besides
the virus, of course)? Once the scammers have even a little bit of your data
they never let go.
--Doesn’t
it give you a warm feeling when a company calls its employees “team members” or
“associates”?
--How do
our appliances know to wait until 5 p.m. on a Friday before breaking down?
--Doesn’t
high-definition television highlight how many people have really bad skin?
--Aren’t
all social movements demanding “justice” doomed to failure? Human disputes
rarely work out to the complete satisfaction of anyone.
--Does
anything taste better after dinner than a Frango mint?
--Why
are backyard seed receptacles called “bird feeders” instead of “squirrel
feeders”?
--Did
you know you can take a comfortably warm shower around Phoenix in the summer
without turning on the hot water?
--Is
there a bigger bargain than the $29 I paid for a year’s online subscription to
the Washington Post? Or was it $39? Either way.
--Why do
people bother to wear face masks if they walk around with their noses sticking
out?
--Is
there anything tastier than Dungeness crab? Besides stone crab, I mean.
--What
have things come to when a husband (me) can tell his wife (Susie) “cute mask”?
--I know
you hate to admit it, but aren’t some of those Progressive Insurance ads clever?
--Isn’t
one of the (few) good things about the covid siege that people usually are at
home when you phone them?
--Won’t
a return to “normal” depend as much on finding effective treatments for severe virus-caused
illnesses as on the vaccines? Continuing
mutations will make immunity illusory, just like with the “regular” flu.
--Is there a recorded-phone-message menu that
doesn’t announce it recently has changed?
--When
did “reticent” become a synonym for “reluctant”?
--Doesn’t
accenting the first syllable instead of the second in the word “insurance”
constitute a setback for the language?
-- How can
anyone believe there was guiding intelligence behind the mob that vandalized
the Capitol? Most of those bozos weren’t smart enough to cover their faces.
--Has
there ever been a better made-for-TV miniseries than “Lonesome Dove,” which first
was aired 31 years ago?
--Why is
it that I talk to my kids more than ever these days but still miss them more?
Just
askin’.
1 comment:
Frederico! Happy birthday, dear friend! To a hundred and twenty, with an additional option to extend. All our love to you and Suzie! ❤ Miss you'se guyz!
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