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I turned 84 last week (Feb.2) but still have more questions than answers. Here are some of them.

--Is there a mattress store in America that isn’t having a sale?

--Don’t those ads for time-share freedom make you glad you never signed up for one?

--Is it possible to conclude a close college basketball game without the officials holding a five-minute huddle over the possession of a ball tipped out of bounds or whether a couple tenths of a second should be added to the clock?

               --Can anything enliven a sandwich more than giardiniera, a spicy-hot collection of diced, pickled vegetables packed in olive oil? Nothing goes better on Italian beef or a lunchmeat sandwich.

               --Why do some people use “anxious” as a synonym for “eager”? Anxiety implies a feeling of dread, eagerness doesn’t.

               --Did I ever say anything bad about Amazon customer service? If I did I take it back. Their phone service, at 1-888-280-4331, is excellent.

               --But why is it that when I call United Healthcare I have to answer five or six questions before they’ll let me ask one?

               --Don’t you think cell-phone makers intentionally make their products slippery so we’ll drop them and have to buy new ones?

               --Wouldn’t it be nice to get a Facebook “friend” request from someone you know?

               --Is there a less-edifying new baseball stat than “exit velocity”? Who cares how fast a ball was going when it left the park?

               --When did “length” replace “height” in describing athletes’ sizes?

               --Why do Trumpian election liars insist their man won by a “landslide”? Wouldn’t a narrow win have been enough to salve his wounded ego?

               --So you’re running around outside carrying a machine gun, and someone makes you “feel threatened,” so it’s okay to shoot him, right?

               --Why will baseball batsmen take a strike down the middle on a 3-0 count and then swing at a bad pitch at 3-1?

--Hasn’t the new-med-naming contest been settled by the entry of Imbruvica? What could top that?

--What does it say about the aging process when you come to regard throw rugs like poisonous snakes?

               --What are the most robo calls you’ve received before 8 a.m.? Our record is four.

--Why do the airlines make you print out five or six pages when all you want is your departure- and return-flight info?

--If it’s against the law in Arizona to alter auto license plates, how can so many people drive around with ones that are obviously doctored?

               --Is it possible to use one of those “super glues” without getting some on your hands?

               --Wasn’t not using email the smartest thing Trump ever did?

               --Doesn’t it look like NFL refs get paid by the flag?

               --Does anyone sitting on hold for 20 minutes believe that line about your call being “very important to us”?

               --Remember when VRBO really meant “Vacation Rentals By Owner”? Now it’s a big, bureaucratic corporation run by real estate agents with more rules than the SEC, and no owners in sight.

               --Why is a university’s chief sports officer almost always referred to as the “athletic director” when it should be “athletics,” plural? The position’s formal title is “director of athletics” and its occupant needn’t be jocklike.

               --Doesn’t it seem that everyone who goes unvaccinated will contract covid-19 sooner or later?

               --Is there such a thing as a good-news message from Microsoft?

               -- And relatedly, aren’t about half our waking hours spent trying to fix glitches in our electronic devices?         

               Just askin’.