I turn
85 tomorrow but still have more questions than answers. Here are some of them:
--Why
did the founders think lifetime appointments for Supreme Court justices were a
good idea? Wouldn’t a term like 20 years make more sense? Or how about a
mandatory retirement age of 75?
-- Relatedly,
shouldn’t anyone who proposes starting a presidential term at age 80 or more be
laughed off the stage?
--Don’t you love those casino ads
where everyone’s a winner?
--Don’t
you wince a bit when you read about Ukrainian successes in its war with Russia?
It seems to me that Putin is more dangerous losing than winning.
--Don’t
you hate it when you’re smarter than your teams’ coaches or managers?
--Why do
basketball coaches whose teams are losing by a dozen or more points order
last-minute fouls or timeouts to prolong games?
-- What
does Prince Harry do? Besides complain about his family, that is.
--Why do people walk or bicycle at
night on the unlighted streets of my neighborhood without carrying lights or
wearing reflective gear? I’ve narrowly missed hitting a few.
--When
will England admit its error and apply for reentry to the EU?
--Why it is that when a friend and
I ask a waitperson to split our check, he/she usually asks “50-50?”
--Don’t
you hate those tiny pills that get lost in the folds of your hands?
--Why is it that Republicans regard
as fraudulent only elections they lose but happily accept the results of others,
even in the same jurisdictions?
--How many people hobbling around
with canes or walkers have undergone unsuccessful back surgery? 30%? 50%? 70%? I’d love to see a reliable report
(but don’t expect to).
--Why the frantic search for motive
every time there’s a mass shooting? The shooters are crazy and their reasons
make sense only to themselves.
--Doesn’t the Cleveland Indians’
new name—the Guardians—leave you cold?
It sounds like an insurance company.
--Are there more-infuriating companies
to deal with than the credit-reporting firms—lately by me Experian, but
Transunion and Equifax as well? They plant unsubstantiated land-mine debts in
your file and it’s up to you to correct them, and then they’re almost
impossible to contact. There oughta be a law—lots of them.
--Why does Major League Baseball
schedule April night games in Northern cities where the weather is sure to be
terrible?
--Why are some computer problems
fixable by turning the unit off and then on again? Other appliances don’t work
that way.
--Why am I getting so many craft
videos on Facebook? I mean, watching a guy make a boat from a fallen tree was
interesting, but not something I’m about to do.
--Don’t you hate dealing with
people who tell you how busy they are? That type has so much to do it never
gets anything done.
--Why are old people famously the
targets of scams? The older I get the less tolerance I have for bullshit.
--How could bitcoins have come and
gone without me knowing what one is?
--Is there a dumber cliché for an
average person than “everyday American?”
--Isn’t it amazing that the best
ice-hockey player in the world, Auston Matthews, grew up in Scottsdale, AZ?
--Does anyone who talks about wanting
“protein” have any appreciation for food?
--Is anyone really happy about USC
and UCLA joining the Big Ten? I mean besides jocks from Minnesota or Wisconsin,
who’ll get trips to L.A. in the winter.
--Do you love it when the TV people
wire baseball players and talk to them while they’re playing the field? I
don’t.
--Is there a nicer scheduled sweet
moment than hearing Chicago Cubs’ fans sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game?”
--Have you noticed that fewer
companies are including telephone numbers on their websites? I guess they
figure (no doubt rightly) that they’ll get fewer complaints if they’re harder
to reach.
--Is it a good thing that men no
longer are expected to shave?
--How come when you switch from one
football game to another on TV you always land on a commercial?
--Is anything better after dinner
than a mini Heath bar?
--Isn’t it worth the price of
Sirius XM radio to hear Artie Shaw records on 40’s Junction?
--When did “land line” phone
numbers become unacceptable for commercial purposes?
Just askin’.
1 comment:
You'vebecome a grumpy old man. Get off my lawn! But come to think of it...you were a grumpy old man, when you were young. Love you, brother. A very happy birthday. To 120. ❤️
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