Wednesday, February 1, 2023

? ? ? ? ? ?

 

               I turn 85 tomorrow but still have more questions than answers. Here are some of them:

               --Why did the founders think lifetime appointments for Supreme Court justices were a good idea? Wouldn’t a term like 20 years make more sense? Or how about a mandatory retirement age of 75?

               -- Relatedly, shouldn’t anyone who proposes starting a presidential term at age 80 or more be laughed off the stage?

--Don’t you love those casino ads where everyone’s a winner?

               --Don’t you wince a bit when you read about Ukrainian successes in its war with Russia? It seems to me that Putin is more dangerous losing than winning.

               --Don’t you hate it when you’re smarter than your teams’ coaches or managers?

               --Why do basketball coaches whose teams are losing by a dozen or more points order last-minute fouls or timeouts to prolong games?

               -- What does Prince Harry do? Besides complain about his family, that is.

--Why do people walk or bicycle at night on the unlighted streets of my neighborhood without carrying lights or wearing reflective gear? I’ve narrowly missed hitting a few.

               --When will England admit its error and apply for reentry to the EU?

--Why it is that when a friend and I ask a waitperson to split our check, he/she usually asks “50-50?”

               --Don’t you hate those tiny pills that get lost in the folds of your hands?

--Why is it that Republicans regard as fraudulent only elections they lose but happily accept the results of others, even in the same jurisdictions?

--How many people hobbling around with canes or walkers have undergone unsuccessful back surgery? 30%?  50%? 70%? I’d love to see a reliable report (but don’t expect to).

--Why the frantic search for motive every time there’s a mass shooting? The shooters are crazy and their reasons make sense only to themselves.

--Doesn’t the Cleveland Indians’ new name—the Guardians—leave you cold?  It sounds like an insurance company.

--Are there more-infuriating companies to deal with than the credit-reporting firms—lately by me Experian, but Transunion and Equifax as well? They plant unsubstantiated land-mine debts in your file and it’s up to you to correct them, and then they’re almost impossible to contact. There oughta be a law—lots of them.  

--Why does Major League Baseball schedule April night games in Northern cities where the weather is sure to be terrible?

--Why are some computer problems fixable by turning the unit off and then on again? Other appliances don’t work that way.

--Why am I getting so many craft videos on Facebook? I mean, watching a guy make a boat from a fallen tree was interesting, but not something I’m about to do.

--Don’t you hate dealing with people who tell you how busy they are? That type has so much to do it never gets anything done.

--Why are old people famously the targets of scams? The older I get the less tolerance I have for bullshit.

--How could bitcoins have come and gone without me knowing what one is?

--Is there a dumber cliché for an average person than “everyday American?”

--Isn’t it amazing that the best ice-hockey player in the world, Auston Matthews, grew up in Scottsdale, AZ?

--Does anyone who talks about wanting “protein” have any appreciation for food?

--Is anyone really happy about USC and UCLA joining the Big Ten? I mean besides jocks from Minnesota or Wisconsin, who’ll get trips to L.A. in the winter.

--Do you love it when the TV people wire baseball players and talk to them while they’re playing the field? I don’t.

--Is there a nicer scheduled sweet moment than hearing Chicago Cubs’ fans sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game?”

--Have you noticed that fewer companies are including telephone numbers on their websites? I guess they figure (no doubt rightly) that they’ll get fewer complaints if they’re harder to reach.

--Is it a good thing that men no longer are expected to shave?

--How come when you switch from one football game to another on TV you always land on a commercial?

--Is anything better after dinner than a mini Heath bar?

--Isn’t it worth the price of Sirius XM radio to hear Artie Shaw records on 40’s Junction?

--When did “land line” phone numbers become unacceptable for commercial purposes?

Just askin’.

1 comment:

THE THOUGHTS OF CHAIRMAN MIKE... said...

You'vebecome a grumpy old man. Get off my lawn! But come to think of it...you were a grumpy old man, when you were young. Love you, brother. A very happy birthday. To 120. ❤️