Some Final Questions

 

It is my sad duty to report that Frederick C. Klein, author of the Fred Klein on Sports blog, former Wall Street Journal sports columnist, husband, father and general savant, passed away on the evening of December 26. 

It was his tradition to share an annual set of his burning questions on his birthday, February 2.  He was planning to do so again this year, and had written this in advance. This is his final column.

Thanking each of you on his behalf for your friendship and the attention you have given him and his words over the years. 

-        Mike Klein, Fred’s son, who introduced him to blogging in 2003.

 

Some Final Questions, from Frederick C. Klein

               --When was the last time I got up from a chair without saying “oof”?

               --When did I get to be a weather wimp? In Chicago I took single-digit temperatures in stride, but in Arizona I shiver every time they’re below 60.

               --When will we admit that our “wars” against gun violence, drugs and climate change are lost, and turn to dealing with the consequences? Whatever the polls show, entrenched interests prevail every time in situations like those.

               --Why has Wrigley Field survived for 110 years while the life expectancy of our newer stadiums for any big-league sport, usually paid for by the taxpayers, is about 30 years?

               --When did the accent in standard discourse start to fall on the first syllable of “in” words like insurance and install? That used to be country-folk talk.

               --Is there a contest among American sheriffs to see who can put the most stars on their collars?

               --Why do governments like Syria, Iran and Venezuela, which make war on their own people, expect international generosity when natural disaster strikes them?

               --Why are contributions to university athletics departments tax deductible? They’re in the entertainment business, pure and simple.

`              --Isn’t it remarkable that when I travel I spend more time packing my pills than my clothes?

               --Is it possible to open one of those little foil butter packets you get in restaurants without getting butter on your hands?

               --Did people in frontier Dodge City think that more guns would make them safer?

               --Can you name a perfect thing? I can—M&Ms.

               --Is there a bigger ripoff than those “tuneup” visits AC-repair outfits promote? You pay them to come and tinker with your unit and discover “problems” you can pay them more to fix. They violate a very-good rule: If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.  

               --Was Sinatra better than Nat Cole? I can make an argument either way.

               --Is there a better name for a baseball pitcher than Janson Junk, of the Milwaukee Brewers?

               --Why would anyone pay for a large soft drink in a restaurant that allows unlimited refills?

               --Is there a better TV serial than “Rocco Schiavone” (“Ice Cold Murders,” actually), on Amazon Prime?  It’s about a grouchy Italian detective demoted from Rome to a small town in the snowy Alps. He solves murders but it’s mostly about him. It’s laugh-out-loud funny in some parts, darkly insightful in others.

               --Why does anyone still not know that all the world can see anything posted on “social media”?

               --Were you thrilled that the 2023 Stanley Cup final was contested by teams based in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Miami, Florida?

               --Do people still read Mordecai Richler’s books? I hope so. His “St. Urbain’s Horseman” is a classic.

               --Are some web sites engineered so that when you click on one thing you get another? I think yes.

               --Isn’t it weird to get a Facebook “friend” request from yourself? And see that you and he have only seven mutual friends?

               --Aren’t drug ads informative? Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known I have a perineum.

               --Why are Russian athletes allowed to compete in international competitions while Putin makes war in Ukraine? Would Germans have been able to do this after Hitler invaded Poland and France?

               --Is any presidential poll taken before September ’24—after the national conventions-- worth looking at?

               --Which is the more-irritating ESPN personality, Stephen A. Smith or Pat McAfee?  “Both” is an acceptable answer.

               --Don’t you get the feeling that the presidential election will hinge on the price of gas on election day?

               --Is there a more useless computer feature than “autocorrect”? About the only word it reliably respells is teh.

               --Does any message from Norton not include a request for extra payments?